Of Hosts and Friends
by Hellen Lou
Summary: Our bodies... no longer our own, the aliens changed that. But however one alien is going to find it a lot harder to erase one human when Explorer is put into the body of Hermione Granger a woman who is determined to save those she loves. An AU X-over.
1. Open eyes

Of Hosts and Friends

Book cross over.

_Summary: _She had hidden in this girls body since the night she was left dying after her escape from the seekers, the moment her eyes opened it was no longer Hermione Granger looking at the world it was Petals Open to the moon… Breaths golden smoke… rides with the bears or rather her human name; Explorer.

The souls soon took over leaving pockets of humans still willing to fight the message these aliens were trying to spread.

Now Hermione and Explorer become unexpected allies in this new war to try and save those they love and stop each from being erased.

_Author note: _I highly suggest reading 'The Host' by Stephenie Meyer. However after saying that I will answer the question running through your minds; why on earth even attempt to cross over a book like that with Harry Potter. It makes no sense, I know but I say why not. It may not make sense and if you truly don't think it's a good Idea I ask you not to read on and please if you wish to tell me that this 'wrong' then please PM me instead of leaving a review as it does disinhearten me when I read those reviews (a big wuss i know) but I would like to try. I'm not trying to deny you your opinions but I would like to go over your comments (or rants) in my own time.

Thank you and I hope this teaser chapter holds your interest.

Thoughts will be in Italic

Memories will be centered and separated

* * *

Chapter one

Open eyes

They were not my memories, the ones attacking my mind… they were her memories and they hurt me because they held emotions I had yet to understand on this planet.

I had been warned before accepting my new role on this planets that these creatures had been so different from the others we had helped that it might be my hardest Calling since we all left The Origin.

I felt no smugness nor pride that was not duly appointed to my status, I didn't hold those emotions.

In fact there was not one Soul among the many that held those emotions; it was physically impossible.

As Souls we felt nothing more then love and peace, joy at the thought of aiding our own kind or the aliens we inhabited.

But despite our emotional range we still held higher intelligence and could soon understand the language these humans used to describe their emotions.

_Pain… fear. _

That was my host felt as her last memory played out before me; it was my body now and it was technically my mind that showed me that memory of her failed attempts to escape from the Seekers. However it wasn't my fear, my hate nor shame at failing that echoed around my body.

_Sadness _

Among the few emotions that I had experienced since bonding with my new body that emotion seemed to swell more then the rest as I saw through _her _eyes she had no where to run.

I felt my heart twist, my stomach drop and my blood freeze when I saw that black wall growing dangerously close to my face while the sound of sharp footsteps grew closer behind me- _her_- despair now coursing through my body.

I struggle in my clouded state trying to sort this memory into order; it was hard enough taking control of this bodies movements with out trying to force my mind to sort through that last memory to place it in some order.

_The Beginning… start at the beginning_

My mind- now truly mine- attempted to struggle with the order, protesting as more images frittered through my mind eyes.

Soon I controlled even the basic of this memory, my attachments only had a few spares in this body a strange thought as it was a higher number in my previous hosts.

These humans were stronger but it proved no more difficult then when I attempted to bond with a host on The Spider world with their three minds.

* * *

_This can't be happening_, I thought as my feet thudded down too hard on the ground lost in the darkness this building offered.

I had to do this… I had to find them but at what cost; my life it seemed.

Blindly I hurried around a corner wondering where that feeling of safety for these walls had fled to when only a few years ago I was happy to be here.

I stumble, cursing the feet upon which was my only hope to escape this nightmare. I couldn't stop now, I owed it to them… all of them to make sure I wasn't found but more importantly I wasn't caught and made into one of those things.

My body I found was far too exhausted to shudder at the idea of becoming something other then myself.

With determination I hadn't felt since I first walked these corridors when I was eleven my pace sped up, my legs would give out soon; I knew this but that didn't matter because I knew those following me didn't have the knowledge to follow me.

"We only want to help" one of my pursuers called out in a unnerving calm and soft voice; that's how they did it of course. After the first wave it had only been too easy to understand how they hid among us.

They never got scared, they never got annoyed and they surely never got angry which made it hard to spot them until it was too late.

"Please… let us help" Another voice, fearfully too close to me now, panicking I only offered the smallest of glances over my shoulder. I couldn't see them that meant they were too far away, sadly not far enough or they were well hidden.

I pushed my limits when I forced my body to hurtle forward, my poor body had already endured two weeks of ducking and diving trying to find this place again.

I wished I had listened when they pleaded with me to stay… I even wished I hadn't made them stay behind; no I didn't wish that. I'm glad I made them stay because I'm not sure I could have gotten this far if one of them had gotten caught.

"Stupid" I hiss at myself hoping the desperate tone wouldn't over whelm the fury I felt for myself, thankfully the pounding of my blood in my ears blocked the sound of my voice out so I couldn't hear the breaking of the tone.

_I'm sorry… please forgive me,_ I couldn't scold myself for the true meaning behind my apology; I wasn't saying sorry for getting this mess but for not being fast enough to make it back to them.

My status as brightest witch still remained and as I heard the shifting of the stairs just around the corner I knew how this had to end.

Relief spread throughout me as I retracted the meaning of my apology, it was no longer because I got caught now; it was because I would never say those to them again.

Using the last of my energy I hurtled around the corner with dead hope flaring up one last time, a small part that proved I was human.

The empty space where the stairs should have been swallowed me in mid air, I didn't even glance around when the gasps came. My screams soon deafened me, the darkness around me only grew darker when I screwed my eyes shut; awaiting the pain I knew that would take me away from the Seekers… from this world of running… from _them. _

"Forgive me" I offer not sure if it was a thought or a scream but it was enough for me in the end, I did try… I always tried for them.

* * *

Disconnected now from that vivid memory I knew my breathing had changed now, I didn't need the beeping nor the pregnant pause to the breathing of those around me to know that I was now waking.

The blinding light prodding at her- no my eyelids burned making my face twist in pain, something I was never I could do.

Why was everything so… harsh, was this world this hard to adjust to. I pushed my clouded state away from, it felt heavy more heavy then I was used to.

"Can you hear me" a soft and gentle voice questioned, prodding at the clouds surrounding me making the heaviness lift a little.

Opening my mouth I soon understand that despite my understanding of the humans language I still wasn't sure how it worked.

Nodding it seems was enough to convey my assurance because I felt the sigh wash over me as the Healer- the gentleness couldn't be mistaken- and I heard him move back.

A cooling hand pressed against my forehead.

I started not because of the touch but because it had become clear to me as the sweat clung to my skin that I had been sweating.

_Why_

I wasn't scared, I couldn't be scared now I was in control of this body and this healer was like me, he was a soul and he meant me no harm.

_A Soul_

The voice clearly my hosts voice and now mine echoed, the tone clinging to the voice was that of distrust and haterage.

I didn't hate anyone, it was impossible for me to hate anyone.

_The Host_

With an internal sigh I understood now that it must be some residual thought and feelings from my hosts previous life. Her feelings about us had been so strong that it left a lingering presence.

"Where am I"

I couldn't help but flinch back at the sound of her- no my voice now- it was chocked and dry, it must have been a longer time since her final memory and my bonding.

"The London Healing facility" the Healers voice remained calm and soft causing peace to spread back through my limbs.

My limbs no longer hers.

"Did… did it go well" I ask feeling the healer stiffening at the meaning of my question.

Did it hold a double meaning …no, despite the heaviness still in my mind I know it went well; I simply just wanted to know if the healing this body would have needed after the jump.

"Yes… I'm sorry but what shall I call you; would you prefer the human name or your true name" the Healer's tone held no shame nor nervousness just a simple question.

"My true name… forgive me but it is harder to translate, perhaps for now my hosts name will do" I reply in the most even tone I could produce from this body.

_My Body_

Was that me who thought that… it didn't feel light enough to be my thought but I was alone in this body, the previous _soul _no longer lingered here. That was how it went.

"Then Hermione yes it went well… we had to spend longer on healing you then we usually spend but I'm sure you had time to understand what damage was done" the Healer now sounded sadden, not by his response but probably by the memory of how my body was brought to him.

_My Body_

I didn't know what was more louder my hiss or my gasp as my eyes flew open and the dimmed light burnt my eyes, the healer was a blur against the bright light and the tears of pain shimmered over my eyes.

Seeing for the first time I was in the familiar room of the Healers, the blinking lights of machines I could not translate the names for just yet brought a sense of relief over me.

I was here in my body and that thought was just mine… the heaviness in my mind though not lifting did not scare me because I knew now that this body was mine now.

I was alone in here and with sadness at the memories that tugged back into their place after being transferred I truly believed that Hermione Jane Granger was gone.

She had been erased to make room for me to bring peace.

I ignored the strange feeling that swelled up in me at the thought… I couldn't put a name to it just yet but I would because the memories still clouded and heavy for me to sort through would yield their answers and they would become mine.

_Mine! _


	2. Of Lives and Magic

Chapter two

Of lives and magic.

* * *

Two weeks was my allotted time at the Healing facility, I couldn't feel disappointed nor scared because the guilt far outweighed anything else.

I had stayed far longer then any of the other Souls and though I knew they only wished to heal me I felt my inability to offer something to my kind made me feel guilty.

This emotion alone was enough to startle me, my last host had been… a monkey was the only thing I could use to compare it to on this planet. Words and names that had flown so freely from me now hung stubbornly out of my reach, this body's vocabulary wasn't large enough nor suitable to respect the name of just a few of my previous ten hosts.

Another reason was that I finally discovered the true name of that feeling that had swelled up in me on that first upon my awaking.

I discovered it was defiance, some lingering emotion in this body that should have not worried me but it did because it did not feel like something that lingered. It felt like it belonged there.

But as a Soul I was not defiant, I was kind and loving; my whole reason to exist was to co exist with my own kind. We did not seek out to have something more then another, we worked together and never took something that we wasn't willing to give up for another Soul.

My guilt was of course led deeper then just my stay with the healers; it came with another two reasons that both left me exhausted with these new emotions I had to deal with each day.

I still had lingering thoughts that were not my own, the healers had quickly brought me to a Comforter- Lives in the sun- who had began to help process the memories of my host.

My Seeker was not someone unfamiliar to me or at least to my hosts old life, the Soul name was Fire rider- A fire World name- while his host name was Lucuis Malfoy.

Both he and myself were shocked when I recoiled from him, it was not meant to be this way; I should have greeted him friendly which I slowly made myself do despite the heaviness in my head growing more denser.

I felt I had such a little time to sort through the memories of my host and to understand just why I should fear this host.

I was happy to leave his presence after a week when his questions came more bluntly, more forceful trying to locate the where abouts of my hosts previous acquaintances, The Seeker was interested in my hosts previous location as she was one of the few humans who still remained un bonded.

I found I could not answer his questions at once as I felt I should have, the memories I sought seemed to evade me; as though someone was keeping them hidden which should be impossible as no one but me was in my body now.

I tried, I would dive deep into those memories but I always struggled to bring something back with me, feeling exhausted at having to try too hard to find the answers that should have come so easily.

It took a little more then three days for me to be appointed to a calling that was felt right for me, my host was a professor of a magical school where she had fled to, though young she had mastered her subject of potions quickly and handled the younger students with a firm hand.

I began to lecture at a local college, telling of my previous hosts and lives on planets so far away from this planet.

I found it a happy change to tell my stories to those young souls eager to listen and ask questions, I enjoyed watching the young learn considering once more that once this life was over I should offer to become a Mother.

"May I ask a question Explorer" a small and timid voice called from the front row, my eyes turning to see a small host, the body was nothing more then eleven years old but the Soul was more then a thousand human years.

"Of course" I assure smiling to encourage the young soul, it was not unnerving to the Soul to have other Souls watching him there was no shame among our kind.

"The Fire world… I believe that it is not that much different from this world, why are there more reports of humans evading The Seekers" the soul questioned as I became stumped.

The Fire world had not been one of our best invasions as too many Souls were lost during the first wave, to have another Soul speak about it so innocently made sure they had not been among other Souls to travel to that planet.

"The Hosts on the Fire World though more _violent _then the humans could see the damage they were inflicting but were unable to stop themselves. It was far easier to bring peace to that world because the hosts were willing to make amends and helped us find a way to stop themselves from destroying their world and those surrounding them" I try to answer with as much knowledge as I could muster, my life spent on the Fire world was short compared to some of my other lives for which I decided I was happy for.

This seemed to appease the soul but it did nothing to appease me, I had agreed that humans were violent- so violent that our presence here was justified- but some part of me did not believe that violence was their nature.

These thoughts seemed to grow as I became more exhausted or woke from slumber, they were not mine of that I had come very sure of.

With fear I soon understood that they belonged to my host and they were not lingering they were very much in the present.

I had not discussed this with my Comforter nor my Seeker who still filled me with some lingering dread, I feared to voice my theory more so after discovering that a Host named George Weasley had kept control over his body after having a soul implanted and attacked Healers.

Would that happen to me… would I slip into unconsciousness and allow my hosts previous life to slip back in and harm someone.

I know I paled at that thought because the Souls surrounding me looked at me with concern, no suspicion as for one small I felt would go through their minds.

_There souls… they trust me_

_Why sweat then _

Blanching at the intruding thought I turn quickly gather my papers as though searching for some topic in which to lead this strange mess. I was actually grateful for the time to end this days lessons, a chance for me to escape from the never questioning eyes of the other souls.

"I must announce it is time to end our discussion" I announce summoning up some response that belong to me alone.

The Souls all smiled not once unhappy about the time, they were agreeing in nature and believed things held a course that none of us could sway from.

As they drifted from the room I became faintly aware of one last presence, one that dreaded even more then the Seeker.

I once more recoiled from the emotion of dread, it was not meant to be in my nature nor my emotions now I was in control of this body.

_Are you in control_

"Explorer" the gentle voice of both my comforter and someone known from my hosts past, Lives in the sun was also known as Poppy Pomfrey whom had known my hosts other self long before I even arrived here.

I was surprised after finding some easier memories that the calling hadn't been for her to become a Healer but I said nothing of it.

"Comforter" I greet warmly winching when the comforter tilted up one side of her mouth, wistful in a way.

"Please call me Poppy" she offered to put me at ease, this sent a panic through me why would I need to be put at ease.

"Sorry Com-Poppy, I find it hard to use the host name while the Souls name is so much more in this worlds tongue" I offer as Poppy nods, taking a seat closer to the front again panic runs through me but I push past it in order to walk over to her and sit beside her.

"You worried me when you cancelled your last appointment, I hope you are still not finding this world hard to adjust to" Poppy admitted sadden that I had not adjusted as well as so many others had.

"I have adjusted well… but it has been such a long time since I stretched and used myself so much that I'm sorry to say I have been too tired" it wasn't a lie spilling from my lips it was the truth for I had found myself exhausted but not by calling rather by my limited success in pushing past some of the walls blocking my hosts old memories.

"Yes my dear I can see that… you do look rather tired, I must suggest visiting a Healer" Poppy admitted not declaring nor demanding.

"I would rather just to keep myself to adjusting… I will admit it was not this difficult in my previous lives but I will not lost much more sleep" I promised earnestly, I wouldn't because I'm sure my break through was not long off.

"So you have discovered memories then… ones that the Seeker has been looking for" Poppy questioned warmly while I looked away, not willing to meet her silver lined eyes afraid that the truth echoed through mine.

An image of a wall was forced into my minds eye causing me to close my own eyes in an attempt to somehow gain entrance past that wall.

It had been for as long as I had been in this body, every attempt I made to reach through it, around it or over it had left me tired.

"No" I admit in a whisper feeling ashamed at not having been able to give the Seeker the answers he so wanted.

He wanted to know where or even if Harry Potter had survived after my capture… her capture… but I was always unable to find the answer.

"Your host was a witch… a magical creature in this world who had gained a lot of skills in keeping her memories hidden. I too had some difficulties in accessing some of my hosts memories" Poppy assured patting my hand, I wanted to recoil from her touch which only flamed the swell of guilt in me.

I didn't want to but my _body _wanted to be away from her warm hand, a betrayal that I didn't want to stand for.

"But do you" I bit my lip unable to finish the question, not for the purpose of keeping anything from my comforter but rather the purpose of voicing the truth I so feared.

"What my dear" Poppy questioned worried for me instead of because of _me_. I wanted to laugh at that thought but something constricted my throat, something pushed the laughter down.

I would never hurt anyone… I just couldn't physically do it because the thought of touching anyone in an attempt to hurt them made me feel sick and nearing a black out.

"I-I worry that my host's pervious mind is here… I feel things that only she would" I whisper cringing when something inside of my mind panicked at the comforters next actions.

"Lingering thoughts are not unheard of… it has become much harder for those Souls who bond with Hosts who became aware of our presence after the first wave to erase stronger memories and feelings. It will pass" Poppy assured as I nod not feeling the usual sense of relief when I was reminded I was still the greater presence in my body.

"But my body hides things from me… my mind… it blocks memories the one the Seeker asks for" I tell her trying to hold my trembling hands still.

What was it about saying these words that scared me…afraid to part this truth with the Comforter who only wanted to help me.

"There is a charm the magical creatures used before we arrived here called Occulmancy; it allows a magical creature to block their thoughts. If your host was blocking her thoughts before she…left this body then you would be unable to access them easily as you have yet to understand how it works" Poppy admitted as I felt a weight lift from my shoulders.

The memories I had yet to view and thusly control were not being blocked by my hosts previous mind but rather by my own as they were no doubt leaking into my mind with a slow leak.

My relief must have been evident on my face for Poppy patted my hand again and stood, smiling she collected her bag.

"Please make your appointment next week; for now I suggest you read about Occulmancy as it may help" Poppy offered and I nodded eagerly, my host was much more at ease when studying for some goal rather then just reading to discover what it should already know.

I thanked her eagerly and offered her a goodbye before I hurried home to my sparse apartment after stopping a local book shop that offered quiet a new range of books.

Back home the sparseness of my apartment was only too clear; the book shelves painfully were only half filled with books about the general history of Earth, my country (England) and a few magical books that had been collected from Hogwarts once a few hosts with magical skills removed the wards and sealed the school off.

Only one sofa made up the small living room with a TV focused before it, my kitchen void of anything more then what I needed and my bedroom the sparsest of all with just a bed, one set of draws to hold the few clothes I now possessed.

With my new books I soon retreated to my bedroom with several things on my mind; first my thanks to Poppy for steering me in the direction that would help me discover the memories eluding me. Second thinking of My Seeker repressing the shiver I felt at seeing his image in my minds eyes, hoping I would be able to give him his answers and thirdly hoping that once I push pass the wall I would be able to lift this heavy feeling in my head one that I had feared meant I wasn't alone.

* * *

If you have read the book 'The Host' you will know this isn't how the story went but I just wanted to take a different route. I hope you enjoy this.


	3. Not Alone

Chapter three

Not alone

* * *

I was sure I had meant to fall into a deep sleep once my eyelids slid shut. I hadn't understood how tired I was until the words before me in the book became blurred and I had to more then once force them to clear.

And with a deep seated fear I was sure that _she _had hoped I had fell into a deep sleep otherwise she wouldn't have ventured forward with the smug feeling of pride at having kept me out for so long.

After most of the chapters of the third book I read I was sure I could get around the wall still in my mind, but before I could go further I fell asleep.

_I won't let you get them_

_How can you still be here_

_You can hear me… no… you can't hear me_

I struggled or at least I thought I did not only to hold on to that presence I felt in my mind but to keep while I tried to force my eyes open long enough to call Poppy or even The Seeker to tell them.

_No… they will kill me_

_Kill you… they wouldn't kill you they can't because we don't do that_

A snort was my only answer or assurance she had heard me before I saw the briefest of images of two dark figures, one tall (taller then me) and another smaller almost child like.

_Stay away from them_

I wasn't sure if her growled thought was to meant to warn me away from those figures or the memories in which they were held.

My struggle to awaken soon became more harder to do and I only pried my eyes open for the briefest of moments and found that was the only thing I could do.

"I promised you Harry… I've kept you safe" my voice sounded strange to my ears, it was my voice there was no doubting that but I didn't think those words nor had the willing to say them.

Darkness took over after that and I fell asleep leaving my heavy burden alone to her thoughts.

* * *

It was too dark to make out the figures faces clearly. It scares me not to see their faces because it made their figures seem all that more frightening.

How long had it been since I ventured out in the daylight to get food, I grimace at the sound of an answer from my stomach.

It had been only a few short days since I left him, promising to be back with food for his own growling stomach.

_My poor baby… I'll do this for you_, I swear to myself no longer hearing my own bodies protest at going without food for so long. My body only had one purpose and that was make it out of this alive to make sure he was safe and healthy.

I push his face from my mind… it would only make it that much harder to do this, I would second guess myself too much at wither I should go back to him.

I want to laugh at what a motherly way I had come to think in, I was sure there was a time I doubted I could do anything motherly unless it was to nag Ron and Harry.

Pain welled up from both my heart and the inside of my cheek from where I bit myself, I couldn't think about them either. My surroundings and present mission was far too dangerous to get side tracked with thoughts of those I couldn't protect.

A light… silver -so not human- caught my eyes as I saw the figures moving to the car, a mocking gesture of a human came from the male when he held the passenger side door open for the female.

Who were they pretending for anyway, it wasn't like this whole street wasn't already inhabited by their own kind.

_It's a joke… just a joke to them, _my mind hissed at me and made my fist clench the lose and anger of having lost my wand months ago swimming in my unsettled stomach.

Another thing I had lost to _them_ just like my friends, family and way of life.

I waited only two minutes after the head lights disappeared from sight, then I was on my now surprisingly strong legs and sprinting across the dark garden hoping that my calculations were right.

Those things shouldn't be back for an hour, that was more then enough time for me to get in gather what I needed and then leave.

I was hoping to be on my way back to him before they even noticed anything missing.

A twisted smile that felt somehow wrong on my face sprung up when I entered the dark house was ease, they trusted each other enough to leave their houses unlocked.

I held myself still, like some sick statue standing on display for them to look at, listening for any sound that might give away another presence.

After assuring myself for the tenth time I was alone I sprinted to the kitchen, the bodies in which those things now lived still needed food to fuel their bodies.

Heading to the fridge first I winch in the now dimly lit kitchen when the light spilled from the small white object, fumbling I thumbed the button and sighed when the kitchen drowned in darkness once more. I was too close to saving him to let myself get caught.

It was hard to gather food with one hand but I managed, stuffing the likes of apples, carrots, cheese and sandwich meats into my bag, despairing at how heavy it had gotten with only a few items. Re-framing from gathering anything more I closed the door quickly and headed over to the cupboards ready to load in the long term items I shoved tins of fruits, beans, meat and soup into my alarming increasing heavy bad. I didn't want to have to rest until late tomorrow, I didn't want to waste anymore time away from him.

With a heavy heart I shoved a few nutrition bars in my pockets and shut the cupboards, giving myself a good head start before they knew something human had been so close.

I sprinted despite the weight on my back through the corridor leading to the back door, my sprint wouldn't last long out side but I didn't want to be in this house any longer.

And I would have kept going if it hadn't been for the figure standing in the doorway to my escape, I only managed to stumble to a stop coming very close to hurtling straight into the figure. Without a second thought I was turning heading for the front door.

A hand snatched at my pony tail and nearly dragged me off my feet and on to the ground no doubt smashing the food in my bag. But instead I slammed into the solid but warm body of the figure behind me, my arms reached up to scratch at the hand wrapped tightly around my hair, I didn't register the pain in my head as the hair was pulled at nor did I register the glint of a knife until it pressed into my neck; biting the flesh and drawing a small drop of blood.

I stilled myself only long enough to gather my baring so I could plan how to escape this, I had to escape this because it wasn't my life I cared for.

"Move and I'll cut your throat… I thought you were all gone by now" the harsh male voice cut through my ear, my anger dimmed his voice but not enough for me to ignore it.

"I guess that's bad luck for you" he breathed moving back but never lifting the knife from my neck nor un weaving his hand from my hair.

I grunted but felt the knife press tightly against my throat, I wasn't stupid enough to give this thing a chance to get jumpy and cut my plan off.

However the grunt that came from me was not my choice for the thing behind me twisted my pony tail out of the way and for a heavy moment I waited poised for the final blow when it understood I wasn't one of them.

It had to be a Seeker I assured myself, Seekers were the only one of those things that would carry a weapon.

I heard his gasp before the knife fell from my neck and the hand drop my hair back against my neck, but I didn't care it gave me my chance. As he was drawing a breath I lifted my foot and stamped down hard smiling brightly when I heard the sickening crunch of my heel finding his foot. I wasn't ready when he shoved me forward and exclaimed in pain. I brought my hands up a fraction to late to stop the impact, my elbows and shoulders taking the brunt of the fall.

I didn't let it stop me, despite my bag on my back and it's heavy contents I rolled over only resting on the bag for a second before I was on my feet and hurtling forward, ducking under the things arm as he tried to grab me and was already out the door.

The air felt better now out of the house but I didn't take time to revel in it because I heard his footsteps already pounding against the dry ground behind me.

"Wait" he tried to call harshly keeping his voice only loud enough for me to hear, but I wouldn't subdue to his orders.

Not while my mind was mine alone.

"Please" he called a little too close to me now, panicking it made me slow enough for a familiar tug to come at my shoulder as his fingers curled around it. My wand had been my only weapon, my wandless magic had proved too unpredictable even worse when I was emotion and tired.

So I went to my second defence, one a little less unpredictable and grateful to Ginny for teaching me this. Spinning now I curled my fingers to my palm thrusting the heel out I pulled my free arm back enough to throw a forceful hit.

But strong fingers soon wrapped around my wrist and held it in the air while a pale face stared at me, searching my face for something.

My eyes of course he was searching my eyes for the tell tale sign of silver that would give way to a parasite inside of my head.

After that it happened so quickly, the fingers dug into my wrist and then with a quick and forceful pull warm and strong lips crashed down on mine, smothering my protests before they could rise.

It felt almost human to me… to have this contact after so long, of having only the tender of kisses pressed to my cheek by my baby.

But as human as it felt it still didn't feel right and without thinking I brought my knee straight up in between his legs. His lips twisted while still on mine then snapped back as a whimper strewed from his lips.

I used this to stumble back and flee, hoping that I still had enough time to make my way back to him trying hard not to fail.

"Lumos" the one word was enough to make me falter and the light that burst out behind me made me stop.

I might as well been playing host to one of those things because I turned without thinking to be blinded by a light held out in front of the man, it wavered slightly as a whimper hissed behind it.

The light moved closer and I shielded my eyes, blinking back the wetness of tears for hope and joy that I might have found not only another human but a wizard too.

"H-h-Hermione" that voice, I shook my head to clear my ears trying to make me understand the tone and even the voice it self.

"'Mione" in that one second as he lowered his hand and the wand I knew everything was going to be OK, it had to be because he was standing there before me safe and not one of those things.

I threw my arms around his neck, only giving a shaky breath of relief when I felt no scar on the back of his neck.

"I thought I lost you… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry" I sobbed into his shoulder feeling him tighten his arms around me. His tears burning my neck and his breath ragged against my skin. I couldn't count the minutes we stood there in our embrace and I didn't care because right now I wasn't alone.

"Stay" his ragged voice brought me back and away from his arms, I could feel the fearful twist of my face as I searched his green eyes.

"Stay here… I know you carried a lot of books Mione but I could get more food for us" he stated as I stare at him, he muttered something and the light faded away.

"Harry" I start but his face was pressed closer to me a pained look across his face his hands finding mine.

"Mione please… I can't lose you again" he pleaded and I still couldn't find it in myself to refuse him, even after all these years and after everything I've been through I couldn't bring the no to my lips.

"Hurry Harry… Teddy needs _me_… us" I stutter watching with a swell of happiness when his face split into a grin and he nodded eagerly.

Pulling away I could just make our him turning but he stopped mid turn and looked back at me, his eyes searching my face once more.

"Promise me something Mione" he whispered moving back to me, I frowned but nodded any way wishing he would hurry up.

"Don't knee me again when I do this" he pleaded but before I could respond his lips crashed against mine again and that human feeling returned only this time something warm spread throughout me instead of fear.


	4. Wrong Words

Chapter four

Wrong words

* * *

I sat up panting for breath not just because of the memory that had been unlocked but at the force of the emotions crashing down on me. The reaction of my body at the memory of that kiss was all too clear, my body had enjoyed the kiss a little too much despite the fact that I was pretty sure from my early memories of my hosts old life proved that they were meant to be nothing more then friends.

_Things can change when you face the end of the world_

Her voice echoed too loudly and forcefully around my head to be a memory, the heaviness more oppressing now.

"But how" I didn't understand what I wanted answered by they that question, it was too vague a question for even me to answer.

_Your meant to be the monster here… answer your own bloody question. _

I winch at her angry hiss, it throbbed and pushed at my head as though trying to escape by some means other then my lips.

_You mean my lips… this is my body after all_

_No it's my body… mine just like those memories you hold about Harry _

_Mine… he's mine understand that _

I winch again but pushed myself up quickly hurrying out to the kitchen keeping her voice from throbbing too loudly in my head.

Instead I gripped at the information I had gathered from her memory, I didn't care right how I managed to capture it I just had to get it written down.

Snatching the paper in a kitchen draw and pen I quickly went to work trying to form my words right.

"Harry… Teddy… they will mean something to the Seeker" I said out loud trying not to listen to my words encase she heard them too.

Sadly she had.

_You can't_, her exclaim made the pen skitter across the paper for a moment as my head throbbed, but then emotions flooded throughout my body. Emotions that didn't belong to me.

Failure… she felt like a failure for letting me see that memory, for giving me Harry and Teddy's name.

_Why do you care… you shouldn't even be here_

_You know why I care… you should know why I can't let them get hurt_

Her hiss hurt my head but I focused on the paper, it had been different when she wrote years ago… the paper was parchment and the pen was a quill.

But the same outcome resulted as I wrote my quick letter.

'I can't get much more.'

No point in formal greetings, the seeker would understand why I had sent him this letter but I wondered how much he would read into it and how much would he guess that my host's original mind was still here.

'There is a male; young by my calculations almost an adolescent now'

I frowned it was my hand that wrote that… my hand that seemed to refuse to write the name Teddy as though my hand understood the pain my host was going through.

Without a second thought I sealed the letter in an envelope and scrawled the Seekers Soul name before heading over to the window. I breathed in deeply as the warm night air of London's now clean air rushed against me.

The small owl remained by my window most of the night and often close by during the day, it readily took the envelope in it's claws and nipped my finger when I held my palm out for it.

"Seeker Fire rider" I ordered and the owl gave a hoot before flying off into the night, only when it was gone from my sight that I gasped and stared at my traitorous hand.

_You did that_

_What are you talking about… I wouldn't have sent that letter_

I couldn't focus on the deadening feeling rushing from Hermione as she mourned the information flying away in the night.

_I didn't write Teddy's name who ever he is and I didn't write anything about Harry_

_And… did you expect me to say sorry about that, I can't control you otherwise I would have found a way out of here already_

Talking with her only made me winch, she spoke with too much anger for me to remain peaceful and she didn't seem to have anything but spite to spit at me.

_The Seeker will follow up I will just have to tell him then_

_Maybe I will have found a way to stop you and get out of here to protect _

_Why… can't you understand we don't won't to hurt you we just want to help you_

_HELP_

I couldn't stop myself from recoiling back, sadly she wasn't something I could escape by fleeing she was right there with me in _my _head.

_What part of taking over someone's body is helping… you tried to erase me, stop me from protecting them from the same fate. .. _

She spat with so much hate and rage that I felt my knees shake and almost collapse beneath me.

_They could be happy, safe and healthy why can't you understand that_

I shook when something like a bark of laughter reverberated around my head and anger flooded through my body.

Not her anger but mine and not for her but for the emotion she flooded me with after I thought that. I couldn't hurt anyone, not even if my very existence rested upon such an action.

But she could and she showed me just what she thought of my existence, we had taken away their freedom something they had always fought for.

My anger surprisingly was directed at myself and the other Souls as I felt for her, but shaking my head hoping to dislodge her some how I regained my peaceful nature afraid of the emotion of hate and anger.

_They are happy and healthy… as long as they don't have one of **YOU** inside of them _

She snapped and I sighed, both out loud and in my mind. It was already clear she was too agitated to become reasonable tonight and I was far too emotional to find peace in sleep again and a little fearful of the memories that might be unleashed.

I enjoyed the feeling of love and companionship but her view on Harry was too emotion for me.

_MINE_

She snapped and I winched when after a brief flash of Harry's unruly raven hair, his green eyes and strong face flashed through mind a wall suddenly blocked my view.

_I don't want to hurt them_

_And you won't… either of them and even if the Seeker does come back to ask you questions you can't give him anything more_

_I gave him something on teddy _

_So what… believe me I wouldn't be here if Teddy wasn't protected… I was the smartest witch of my age._

I sigh and chose to ignore her, it was pointless to try and return to my books; despite Poppy's theory I doubted that the blocks in my… Hermione's memory was to do with any magical works it was all to with Hermione her self.

I would think of a way to sort this out… I wouldn't give up on her body- _my body_.

_Don't put too much hope into it_

I resisted the sudden urge to tell her to shut up and headed for my room determined to get some rest.


	5. Love both human and alien

Chapter five

Love both human and alien

* * *

The morning I felt was taunting me now, after our disagreement the pervious night Hermione had remained relatively silent.

The only way I knew she was still there was when her mind wondered and worried over Harry and Teddy and I was able to catch a glimpse of that unruly raven hair, green eyes and those lips I couldn't shake from my mind. But then she blocked my view and hissed one simple word; MINE.

I almost laughed scornfully after the third time trying to reason with her that I felt no emotional attachment to Harry what so ever.

The real trouble happened after I finished my lecture and headed back to my apartment, I offered a smile to the other Souls but my hands sweated each time one looked at me.

An irrational fear coursing through me each time those silver lined eyes looked at me; did they guess my hosts original mind was still there?

"Explorer" a cold and distant voice spoke from my door step, I stopped myself from recoiling from that voice. I envied Hermione who I felt recoil when the Seeker came into our view of vision.

"Seeker, I hope you are well" I didn't miss the rueful smile twist to his thin cold lips nor how his already grey eyes danced.

_Get away from him… he's evil_

_He's a Soul, his host has no control_

Despite the small conversation that hadn't played out loud enough for the Seeker I still felt his eyes boring into me. I darted my eyes to the door hoping the distraction would not alert him to my discomfort.

_He knows I'm here_

_No he does not… he can't because your not meant to be here_

_So you say _

"I'm well Explorer but you seem not to be doing as well" his voice was laced with something I had never experienced in my life. However my host had something to offer.

_He's smug… he knows something that you don't_

_Souls even Seekers are not smug_

I explain after I understood what that expression meant, instead of answering me she remained quiet watching and listening to my exchange. I turn to look at him and offer a smile that didn't betray me... at least I hope it didn't.

"I am well though thank you" measured words to me, I hoped they didn't sound as forced as I thought they did.

"I spoke to your comforter… she expressed some _distress_ over your progress" the seeker admitted causing my eyes to widen an action that didn't go unnoticed by the Seeker who seemed to hold his breath.

"I… yes it may seem distressing because I am making slow progress, it is more difficult then my other lives" I admit feeling so at ease with the lie I was speaking.

Though a voice purely my own told me it didn't matter because this Seeker was up to something, something that might hurt my host's body and mind.

"I was able to gather some information though I'm not sure how much of it was an actual memory or just my mind still in a sleeping state put together" I cringed internally not only at my lies but Hermione's sudden interest in my handle on the situation.

Puzzled I looked for the memory to confirm the feeling she was flooding me with.

_Proud… your proud of me lying to my own kind_

_Bloody hell I am, I thought you things couldn't lie _

I wanted to laugh when I forced memories of her scolding her fellow students from cursing but she took no notice and tried to focus me back to the Seeker.

"I haven't received any information yet!" The seeker said with a lacing of disbelief to his tone, his grey eyes narrowing searching my eyes for something.

I swallowed thickly struggling to use something to help me, even attempting to think like Hermione.

"I sent it by owl to you last night" I told him, happy I was telling the truth now.

However the Seeker wasn't appeased.

"Well I have yet to be home just yet and I have not sorted through my mail, I'll make a point to look through them as soon I get home" The Seeker admitted and I felt Hermione's interest wane; she was focusing on trying to get me away from the Seeker.

"I hope it will help unless of course it truly was made up from fragments from memories I dreamt about" I lied directing my eyes away from the Seekers, hoping my lie didn't sound as flat as it felt.

"I'm sure it will… I best leave you now. But if you have anymore memories be sure to call me" I lift my eyes and refuse to recoil back.

"_first_" he almost hissed at me before he turned and walked away with a click of his shoes hitting the ground.

I was surprised when a sigh escaped my lips, I wanted to call out to him to tell him the truth; about Harry and Teddy.

But it wasn't Hermione holding me back.

It was_ me_.

This strange emotion coiled tightly in my stomach, tighten my throat and made my head swim; the scariest thing was I knew what this emotion was called and as it burned my veins I couldn't help but feel breathless.

It was love.

And it wasn't just Hermione's any more.


	6. Why

Chapter six

Why

* * *

After my discussion with the seeker and Hermione's refusal to talk to me anymore I found myself pacing the living room of my apartment then the kitchen.

Stiffening as Hermione sighed in my head I went to my room and laid down on the bed staring at the ceiling.

Why should I love humans I had never met, all my knowledge was from Hermione's brief memories and that wasn't enough for me to understand the emotion I felt when I thought about telling the Seeker about Harry and Teddy.

_How can you still be here_

I wasn't really waiting for her response though I knew she was thinking about this too. She didn't have the skill to go through my memories and I highly doubted she would be able to understand them anyway.

_I'm strong I faced Voldermort's army_

_Yes I know… a reason as to why we are helping you _

She remained quiet after that, and I felt a strange pang when her voice no longer echoed around my mind.

_You can't remain… your emotions are confusing me._

_You mean my love for Harry and Teddy, I thought you would understand that; you are all about that aren't you_

She was challenging me… she was smug in her response which made me grit my teeth and close my eyes. The wall was back up and I tried my hardest to break through but Hermione proved too strong.

After several minutes I huffed and open my eyes to stare at the ceiling.

_I can't understand why you wouldn't want them to receive medical care… to be safe and healthy._

_Why… I won't let Harry or Teddy to be erased like you want me to be… I promised them I would never let that happen. _

I sighed again and turned to my side staring at the fruitless books that sat on my window ledge, I cringed at the lack of help those books had offered.

I remembered a time when in this body books had offered all the answers.

_Well then explain to me just why you want to 'protect' them… as though we would hurt them_

Before she could head of into another throbbing rant she stopped and seemed to disappeared. I felt my body stiffen as I wondered if I suddenly gained enough control to erase her. Closing my eyes I saw the wall and attempted to move past it once more but it still held strong.

_Because they would do the same for me, Harry would protect me; he always has and Teddy is too young to have his life taken from him. _

I considered her words and felt the sadness overwhelm me… though I had no idea as to what this Teddy looked like I couldn't stop the maternal feeling wash over me.

_Your son _

_No… at least not in the normal sense… I promised to take care of him a fat lot of good that did _

I wanted to assure her that just by being present in my mind and keeping that information locked away from she was still protecting him but I didn't.

I didn't think she was protecting them, I really didn't think what we were doing was hurting the humans in any way.

Or did I?

_Ok safer ground at least Harry… you are truly a wonderful person to protect your friend but is it doing him any good to know that you were out here and he couldn't be near you_

A snort was the only response she could offer at first before she was silent again leaving me alone for several minutes.

I pondered what this could me… was I the only who was going through this beside George Weasley, were other Souls dealing with this difficult reaction.

A flash of green eyes snapped my thoughts back to the girl in my body, had she let something slip because those eyes were older then the ones I had glimpsed during her Hogwarts years.

_Harry isn't just my friend… I will still protect my other friends too but Harry and Teddy are all I have now… or had as the situation calls for. _

_But they can be apart of something more… Souls do have their own minds but we understand we are together. _

_That's why we are fighting back… you think humans are all the same but we are not and that connects us. _

Her sigh makes my heart twist, it is so filled with mourning and longing that I was once again doubting my presence.

Another flash of green I felt her decide something and I couldn't understand why this should be so important.

_You believe in love… you live for love and peace right? Then this will help you understand just why I can't lead you to either of them and why I won't just fade away.

* * *

  
_

I watch as the now vivid blue hair of Teddy was pretty much buried beneath his dusty covers. I had spent almost thirty minutes dusting, sneezing and then freezing with his covers.

I can't help but smile when I remember hearing Teddy's laughter at my face, for now he seemed to forget the reason we had to sneak into a place he had stomped about years ago.

The House of Black had fell in to poor repair after we all fled but between me and Harry most of the downstairs rooms and two rooms upstairs were safe enough to sleep in.

I could hear Harry flustered groans as he attempted his wandless magic once more, I still feel guilty about that. It had been my fault he lost his wand, being so used to having to relay on myself instead of my lost wand when those things came after us I grabbed his hand and left the wand on the ground.

Harry the pure and gentle man he was now hadn't scolded me too much, the whole ride in the stolen car had been tense as his jaw clenched but after bunking down for the night he smiled and kissed my forehead.

Making my way back to Harry, once more assured the small boy left to my charge was safely asleep, I still didn't understand anything more about the kiss we shared. The first I automatically could guess it was because after spending months on his own fearing being the last human he was overwhelmed with relief but the second puzzled me because I was still me, Hermione Granger, the book worm Harry had known from Hogwarts.

"Mione leave the boy be… it's his first night sleeping in a real bed" Harry scolded me lightly even chuckling when I blushed.

I couldn't help it, I've been looking after Teddy since he was barely six years old, over the past three months with Harry still wouldn't let me lose my paranoid need to protect him.

I guess I accepted that I was never going to have that family me and Ginny always spoke about, so I greedily accepted being a mother to Teddy.

"Harry I'm just making sure" I reply quickly taking my new seat by his side, it seemed as though nothing had happened to the world because we were the best friends we had always been. Even a little more protective of me.

"It's throwing me this whole allowance of a nickname for you" Harry chuckles tightening his arm around my waist and I can't help the way my body snuggled into his strong and warm side. Was it always this scary- the world at least- because right now with Harry holding me and Teddy sleeping in a bed I can't make myself believe that the world had changed.

"Teddy couldn't pronounce my name when he was learning to speak… it's a bond between Teddy and myself, something that I love too much" I admit sighing as the warming fire washed over me and Harry's breathing lulled me into the beginnings of sleep that had been put off for the past five years.

"Do you think it will stay like this, just you, me and Teddy as the last humans" his sombre voice made me remember the days when Harry always held a firm determination to save the world. There was a time when he was expected to do just that, now… well me and Teddy were just happy to have him looking out for us.

"I don't know Harry… I'm afraid this is the first time I can't turn to my books to find the answer for you" I admit painfully, I still missed the rush of both knowledge and joy when I poured over the dusty books.

"We should get some sleep" he ordered firmly, his voice tight and his clutch tightening around me as not for the first time I couldn't promise him to make it better.

"Harry…we have each other and until we can find others this will have to do" I tell him leaning back to stare at him watching the emotions rush through his face.

With a heavy sigh he nodded in a begrudging agreement, he dragged me to my feet and refused to release his hold on me. Like me and Teddy it seemed Harry didn't want to think one second of space between us would mean I wasn't with him.

I wouldn't admit out loud because I believed the way I clung to him prove I felt the same way, but I hadn't been held so closely by a man in over five years.

As we reach the two bedrooms, one inhabited by my adopted son and the other to be Harry's room we came to a stop, I steal a look to Harry whom seemed to be debating something in his mind.

The three of us hadn't been apart during the night, Teddy's head would lull on my lap my fingers brushing through his hair while Harry had my upper body pressed against his.

Since the night Harry and myself encountered each other again we hadn't been apart… which lead me to the inability to question our second kiss.

"You better get some sleep Mione… I'll keep watch" Harry stated as he began to remove his arm from my waist, panic washing through me at losing the contact.

"Harry you need sleep… you don't sleep heavy, I think we can be safe here otherwise we wouldn't have promised Teddy to stay here for a few nights" I protest as Harry gives me that smile that was cheeky and rueful.

I missed that smile, I missed Harry and I had been so focused on protecting Teddy that I hadn't allowed myself to remember that.

"Fine… I'll sleep on the floor in Teddy's room" Harry offered as I stare at him with fear, how could he expect me to stay away from Teddy. I had to admit that Teddy was pretty much taking up the whole bed now he was on one but I still couldn't think to leave him.

"Harry you take the bed… you deserve a soft bed" I order as Harry chuckled leaning back to my side his breath tickling across my neck.

"Mione take the bed and stop being stubborn" He ordered with humour while my cheeks flushed, my mind betrayed me because I remembered his lips against mine.

But of course Harry was right, flickering my eyes to Teddy's open door stealing my breath to stop myself from checking him once more.

I felt rather proud of my long forgotten roll of my eyes before clamping my hand around Harry's dragging him to the bedroom.

"Fine I'll be stubborn as long as your stubborn" I hiss at him feeling the smile spread when he chuckled at my actions but made no attempt to pull his hand free.

With a pang of my heart I couldn't cry anymore as I saw the familiar room of Harry's back when we came and went with such ease.

I cried silently when I cleaned this room, Teddy didn't see my tears and Harry offered me a squeeze of a hug before allowing me my time to mourn.

I was surprised about how I climbed on to the bed without releasing Harry's hand, there was once a time I would have felt so insecure about such an action of climbing into bed with my best friend but now Harry was my only friend and somehow another part of me; just like Teddy was apart of me now.

"I don't think I can sleep anyway" Harry sighed as he laid on his side of the bed, his green eyes turning to me making the smile creep back onto my face.

I forgot those puppy dog eyes, the way his face became innocent when trying to make me stay up a little longer.

"Come here Harry" I order releasing his hand and patting my lap, Harry quickly placed his head in my lap. His lips twisting to a content smile while his eyes remained glue to my face.

With a sigh and watching his face with just as much interest as he had in mine, my slender fingers twist and tugging through his raven locks with ease and gentleness.

"Harry can I ask you something" my timid voice seemed out of place and would had made us both laugh.

"Mione you can ask me anything" Harry assured smiling up to me his eyes glittering with a happiness none of had seen for such a long time.

"When you found me… I mean that night… why did you kiss me, I know the first time was because you were so happy but why the second time" I ask not feeling embarrassed by asking this, why when there was no one around us to judge us and Harry wouldn't risk losing me even for a second.

"I… well I guess it's been such a long time since I've been with a human I just couldn't help myself" Harry admitted blushing and lowering his eyes.

I smile tenderly at him leaning to press a kiss to his forehead before carrying on with dragging my fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp with my ragged finger nails.

"I guess it has been" I admit thoughtfully… when was the last time either of us had even spoken to another human. I had Teddy but I was thinking more along the lines of the last time a man had kissed me and held me.

Ron was the last boy to kiss me and I did mean boy because he was the only one I kissed after the war, by the time our brief relationship ended I was already focusing my time on looking after Teddy while his grandmother rested.

I was surprised that after everything that was said me and Ron just couldn't make our relationship work beyond friendship.

"I'm sorry Mione… I didn't mean to make you think about Ron" Harry words caught me by surprise that must have shown across my face.

"I didn't mean to is all" Harry stated and I patted his head before running my fingers through his hair again.

"And I'm sorry I kissed you… I just remembered what I felt when you and Ron disappeared" Harry amended and I offer a tender smile, lifting his head I snuggle down in the bed, returning to my previous actions.

"Harry it doesn't change what we are… I think I would have done the same thing if the situation was reversed" I admit wondering truly if I would. Would I have kissed Ron, George, Neville or even Malfoy so hungrily if I had found them after months alone.

Ignoring the flush of heat to my cheeks I lean back taking comfort in the weight of Harry's head and the softness of the bed beneath us.

"Mione" Harry's voice brought me back, a rueful smile twisting at my lips thinking of all the times before that Harry alone would break through even my focused study periods.

"Yes Harry" I mummer only pouting a little when his weight shifted and my hand dropped when he sat up. How much I yearned to spend the night stroking his hair and thinking all was right in the world.

A sudden warm and solid pressure on my lips made my eyes snap open on their own accord to find green eyes staring intently back at me. Pouting my lips I clenched my fists to stop them from dragging Harry back.

I searched his face for the answer seeing my questioningly gaze reflected back at me, but he wasn't trying to understand what happened but instead he was looking and waiting for my reaction.

"Harry" his hand shot up pressing callous fingers against my swollen lips, I stopped myself from pressing a kiss to his fingers and instead waited for his answer.

"I… Hermione I lied… I was shocked, happy and delirious when I found another human, you could have been Malfoy and I would have still kissed you the first time" I can only smile at his joke but he didn't and that worried me.

Was I wrong… had that kiss changed things between us.

"but the second time after I knew it was you… _truly _you I just… well I remembered what it was like losing you the first time" he admits swallowing when my face became thoughtful.

I understood this already, he had said this already and like the true friends we were Harry understood my mind better then I sometimes.

"I don't mean after the world fell Mione… I meant when you and Ron started to like each other more then just friends. I always knew you were special even on the train, but I couldn't understand how special you were until our third year. I fell in love with you but I never got the chance to admit to it because of Sirius" he pauses at that name and I feel my eyes well up with tears.

"Then during our fourth year I saw how breath taking beautiful you were but I told myself it wasn't right to put you in anymore danger then being my friend already demanded" Harry took a moment to breath his hands clutching mine in a grip that should have hurt.

"I saw how happy you were… OK not happy but content with your relationship with Ron, it was the only way I knew something normal would come of being in my life. I was happy to let you go because I loved you. Then the war happened and you two just seemed to fit… I couldn't stop that. But when I found you missing along with Ron and Teddy I couldn't stop my heart from breaking, thinking I had lost my chance to tell you" Harry paused to gauge my response.

I nearly snorted thinking how could he really believe me capable of speech or thought.

Harry Potter my best friend since eleven… Harry Potter the boy I loved with all my heart at least the rest of my heart left after Ron…Harry Potter the man whom I fell in love with even before the world fell was telling me he loved me.

My Hermione response was just to stutter, blush and then bury my face behind a book… My Mione response was to kiss him silly because neither one of us knew how long we would have before something bad happened.

Of course it felt like I had been Mione longer then Hermione which in some sense I had, and of course I quickly pressed my lips against Harry's kissing his lips in a very non platonic way.

The warmth of being human and a woman spread throughout me as Harry returned my kiss, his hands planted now hotly against my waist; burning my skin where his flesh touched.

I never once felt this alive nor burningly hot in my life and I knew I wouldn't give up this feeling ever again, if this is what it meant to feel human I would gladly die before having it erased from me.

"Mione" Harry groaned as he forced himself from me, I simply blinked up at him surprised at how I was now laying flat with Harry pressed against me, his strong body almost protecting mine.

"I wish… I wish" he paused not trusting his voice and I discovered I trusted mine own even less.

"But we can't…not now" Harry flushed at the meaning of his words while I just clenched my jaw cursing the monsters that had meant even this wonderful moment was stolen just like my friends.

"I know it's not safe" "no Mione" his gentle smile and brush of hot fingers against my cheeks make me gasp and lean into his touch.

"This is as safe as we're going to be but… neither one of us is really _equipped_ with the correct… erm… stuff to make sure we don't bring a child in to this world" Harry must have found it more a struggle to finish those words as I was struggling to accept them. His burning trail of caresses was not helping the matter.

"Harry" I winched at the growl that stomped behind my whine, my cheeks grew hot which was not down to Harry's touches.

"I promise love… I promise one day" Harry trailed off leaning forward to leave a linger kiss to my lips sealing in the fire that burned for him and him alone.

It was not awkward as I feared it might have when we soon buried beneath the covers, Harry's grip on me only increasing in tightness.

I wondered just what he was promising me… a day when we could bring our children into this world without fear of them being erased for the parasite. Or a day when we wouldn't have to worry about bringing a child into this world at all.

* * *

I gasped when the memory faded away as Hermione fell asleep and her mind held nothing more then faded dreams.

The gasp wasn't at the memory but more for the feeling that spread through out my body- not Hermione's- of love and warmth that only the humans Harry and Teddy could evoke.

_Now see why I can't lead you to them… I will not make Harry break his promise_

I felt pity for my hosts former occupant, her love for Harry and Teddy ran so deeply that I doubted even my control, what little I felt I had, couldn't erase it. Even now my body betrayed me by burning my cheeks with the phantom burning of some touch from a memory, why did I even feel desire for a human when it was not my desire but hers… _Hermione's. _

_Because my body loves him and as you like stating so often now your body loves him. _

_Of course I love him… I wish you could understand I love all humans even yourself; I could hardly hurt one just like I could hardly hurt my own kind. _

_It's not that love… I love Harry and Teddy as though they were another part of me… to lose them would mean I would lose myself. _

Sighing I push Hermione away as best as I could, I was exhausted by not only my thoughts but Hermione's too.

Closing my eyes I struggled to push her memory away from me and her heaviness, I wanted a few short hours alone without anyone else.

Just like it should have been since the start.

* * *

I hope those reading this are enjoying this... it is a confusing concept but the book is wonderful and I'm trying my best to pay tribute to it.


	7. Alone?

Chapter seven

Alone?

* * *

The day following my new found memory and love was harder then the previous day; Hermione had stayed thankfully silent, keeping her memories of Harry and Teddy sealed away by the wall she had erected around them.

My lecture did not gone well at all, the young souls listened keenly and offered no problem but Hermione's ever presence in my mind made me fear each smile, each look and each warm greeting.

Did they suspect something?

Did they know I was not alone in this host?

If they did know or suspect would they inform the Seekers… would they consider me a failure because this host proved too strong.

I cringe when Hermione snorts and I can feel her smugness running through her thoughts.

What scared me was if that was right… I never felt overwhelming pride, I was a strong Soul one not afraid to travel to a new world to help my own kind… was I not strong enough to control a human.

All these thoughts pushed at me with the aide of Hermione's own thoughts on how to regain control, I was assured I kept my glances of my hands and my legs discreet wondering just when they were going to move without my control but rather Hermione's.

As the young souls filed out of the room I finally sighed sure none had seen my worry, but my relief was short lived when the Seeker stepped forward.

His grey eyes once more probing at me, no doubt trying to understand just what I was thinking.

I no longer recoiled from him but I did glance at the exit longing to run for it and escape his presence. I couldn't lie even to myself that it wasn't Hermione's reaction but my own, my fear tugging at my limbs to move away from the Seeker.

"Explorer" his cold voice sent a shiver down my spine and made Hermione hiss at his presence, even after explaining to Hermione that the host and soul inhabiting it were nothing like the man she knew from her past.

"Seeker, I hadn't expected you in my lesson" I try to remain friendly and warm but something nagged at my mind.

_He's up to something_

_Just please remain silent_

I panicked when the Seeker raised an eyebrow at my expression, I wished I could see my expression as I feared it gave me away.

"I found it _interesting _to say the least" the seeker admitted with a sharp snap to his voice, very much like his sharp features his voice wasn't warm like a true Soul's voice.

"I'm glad to hear that… but still I'm sure you must have pressing things to deal with" I offer again trying to keep my voice warm and not retching with fear.

"Oh no, not anymore… I requested a transfer" he admitted with that smugness that Hermione assured was presence in his tone.

"A transfer" my voice sounded tight and restricted, my palms now sweating and it was only by pure will power I kept my eyes focused on the seeker before me.

"Yes… I received your letter and after a few discussions it was agreed I became _your _Seeker" he admitted causing both mine and Hermione's thoughts to come to a stumbling stop.

_He knows_

_How could he…. I gave nothing away in that letter_

_That doesn't change the fact that he still knows_

"I wasn't aware I needed any attention I was not already receiving from my Comforter" I stutter my thoughts racing a mile a minute as was Hermione.

What had I said that would give away anything… anything on Hermione's presence within my mind.

_You scrunch your forehead when talking to me_

I knew my face blanched when Hermione said that making my skin crawl when I lifted my eyes to find the Seekers cruel and cold eyes looking at me.

I must have been in shock because I called another Soul cruel and Cold.

"Yes I'm well aware of your visits with your Comforter… I believe this attention may serve better for one of the problems you are going through" The Seeker snipped with a smirk dancing a ghostly dance across his lips.

And it was a smirk… he was smug and it wasn't just the fear of my expression while speaking with Hermione but the fact that it was true and there was no point in denying it.

"I have no problems" even to me my voice sounded weak, wavering on the last word as I knew it to be a lie.

But was it a problem… was Hermione truly a problem? Of course she was but one I felt I needed to deal with on my own.

"I don't call having your hosts original mind no problem" his face grew dangerously closer to mine but I could only do what came naturally to me at such a statement.

His face disappeared as my eyes closed.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

_Stop it_

_STOP IT_

Even Hermione's harsh and commanding words couldn't stop me from laughing, after the Seekers declaration I closed my eyes and laughed.

What else could I do… his confused face was blurred through my squinting and tears, which only made me laugh louder.

To me I was laughing hysterically at having my greatest growing fear of being discovered now out in the air.

To Hermione I was laughing happily because it meant she would finally be erased.

I didn't get to contemplate the Seekers thoughts on what my laughter meant because I soon sobered up when Hermione's fear and shame flooded through me.

She was clinging to Harry and Teddy's memories, the tears of laughter that had sprung up in my eyes were now the mask for her tears of sorrow.

If I tell him it was true then he would no doubt transfer me to another host, someone younger who wouldn't offer any resistance, Hermione would be then forced to have a Seeker put in to her body forcing the memories out that I couldn't.

_Not bloody likely _

"I… I'm confused as to what the Comforter has told you, my only problem is that my host was a witch and she used magical spells to lock her memories" the lie surprised me, not because I was telling it but for the first time I didn't feel bad about telling it.

It wasn't completely untrue… I did believe this a few days ago, now I knew better.

"Explorer… your last planet was the Water World was it not… Hosts there were not as difficult as they are here" The Seeker declared his confusion gone now and his probing and smug tone back.

"Yes it was" I was perplexed now, had we not been discussing the possibility that I was not along in my body.

"It must be confusing now that you have another mine in your body" he probes that smug look now etched across his face.

_Get away from him now… bloody hell run_

_No… he will hunt us down _

Why couldn't she understand that running away was not what we did. If there is problem with a host body it was healed.

So surly if my mind was damaged I should just allow the Healers to fix it.

_Erase me _

I winched, the problem here wasn't a stray cell or accidental damage, the problem was Hermione Granger and her ability to simply not fade away.

Looking to the Seeker raking my brain for a response that felt so over due by now I was torn.

I had felt more through Hermione's feelings not just for Harry and Teddy but her view on the world, I had come to understand just a little what it means to be human and how truly alien us Souls were.

Could I erase her and return to a life where I was peaceful… and if I was transferred to another host and allow some Seeker force her to break could I live now I knew guilt if I ever saw Harry's or Teddy's face no longer belonging to them but another Soul.

"There is no other mind in this body apart from mine own" I didn't widen my eyes as the lie spilled from my lips.

I wanted to laugh again when I felt Hermione's shocked response, she was truly shocked that I lied to protect her from being erased.

"Just very strong lingering thoughts and memories that I will discover" the lies continued to spill from my lips with such ease that I worried who was telling them.

_This is all you… your lying _

I struggle to keep my face warm and neutral, I didn't want to reason with Hermione that I didn't like lying to fellow Souls and I really didn't want to prove to the Seeker I was lying.

"Explorer, if you worry as to what will happen to you, then you need not. I know that leaving a host before a life time can be considered as failing in this world but it does not mean the same among our kind" The Seeker assured before my fingers curled upwards, my knuckles turning white at the force I exerted not to smack the Seeker.

I would have to be surprised later at my response to the Seekers words… because it was my response not Hermione's.

_What are you so angry about_

_He is implying I become a Skipper… A soul that abandons a host because they can not adjust before the hosts body has fulfilled a life cycle_

_Oh_

I ignored Hermione and focused back on the Seeker still looking at me awaiting my response to his request, he wanted me to be a Skipper.

"I will not transfer to another Host" I all but snarl at him watching with a swelling of pride as he seemed to flinch back.

Was this body that fearful when angered… even if it was I didn't care because I was still angry.

But the Seekers smug look came back and fear flooded through me draining me of my anger, Souls did not grow angry and it only strengthened his theory I was not alone.

"_Hermione _might prefer you to be transferred" I blanch at his use of my hosts name; Hermione seemed to bristle against his use of her name too.

She hadn't been fond of the host in her previous life and she had grown no fonder now a Soul inhabited that body.

_Hit him and run… it won't take much… just run_

_I can't use violence… I can't hit another living being_

I protest but it falls on deaf ears as Hermione floods my mind with images of my small fist connecting with the Seekers nose, gruesome images of blood and possibly bone sprouting after that sickening thud the action would draw out.

Thankful I had been too exhausted and nervous to eat my stomach only rolled once at the image, the gagging dying down before it could escape my lips. It was proof enough that I couldn't follow Hermione request.

"My hosts previous mind is not here… HER presence fled the night the Seekers failed to capture her body un harmed" I stammered feeling a little joy when the Seeker flushed with embarrassment at that specific incident

"I found magical creatures to the most difficult of all humans myself… I simply don't want you to think yourself alone" his voice though to anyone else would sound comforting and almost concerned but something in my hosts memories proved it was just as fake as the sympathetic look etched on his face.

"If your worried about the _hosts_ body I assure you nothing will befall it, I my self will be put into the host to discover her secretes" his words sent a shocking cold wave through me and Hermione. My joints locked, my limbs froze and my heart sped up.

The Seeker wanted to invade my body… he wanted to break Hermione for what a few meaningless humans who would be found soon if not already.

I couldn't keep the hate out of my tone nor the fear coiling around my torso.

"I will not be _transferred_" I couldn't have been more clearer on my stance even if I had finished my sentence with the punch Hermione and now sadly myself so badly wanted to lurch at him.

But by his look of smugness I knew with a final shock of fear that I had made it only too clearer for him to.

He knew that I was not alone and he was going to invade with or without my blessing.

"But to offer you some peace of mind Seeker I will return to my healer, Healer Clean blue resided… he was a very gentle soul whom I trust to help me unlock these memories" I promise the seeker who sought my face from hint of a lie.

Even Hermione seemed to hold her breath waiting for the Seekers reaction. After a long moment the Seeker snapped himself back and nod curtly.

"We should discuss this further" he ordered sending one more probing look to me before turning and walking out of the room with the familiar clip of his shoes.

I release the breath burning at my lungs, my knees buckled now no longer frozen by the fear coursing through my body.

_We have to get out of here… plan something tonight. Make out at least we're going to see this healer and then after that just… I don't know_

Hermione's flustered tone made me winch, but I didn't silence her in her rambling thoughts… instead I collected my papers and bag.

Fear now no longer coursed through my body but guilt instead.

I wasn't lying anymore… I didn't lie to The Seeker on that last part.

I lied to Hermione.

I lied because I wanted to erase her.


	8. Remembering

Chapter eight

Remembering

* * *

The next three days happened with such alarmingly increasing speed that I'm sure I must have slept walked through them.

The Seeker was an ever oppressing presence in my life, he continued to question me on any more memories I had gilded from Hermione's mind. He was careful not to mention his hopeful plan to get the memories himself and was especially careful not to miss any of my movements.

Hermione was forceful in her idea that he was up to something and we had to leave, she was itching to be on the move.

She hadn't always been like this, there was once a time when she was happy to spend long hours in the library alone and not moving beside turning a page in her books. But after years of living on the continuous move making sure not to linger in one place for too long just to protect Teddy she couldn't shake the feeling from herself to move.

I on the other had felt no need to move unless the Seeker was close by, I wanted peace and stillness to plan my thoughts.

Hermione had offered me a few more memories of Harry and Teddy, my heart skipped a beat when Harry kissed her again and my heart twisted when Teddy curled up to her a few days before she left them both.

For a little while I worried that she had guessed my true intentions of telling the Seeker I wanted to see my first Healer on this planet, that she was in some way trying to make my body betray me and try to find a way to stay away from another Soul and find Harry and Teddy.

"I don't understand why you feel it necessary to travel this way" The Seekers insistent voice cut through me as I loaded my bag into the hired car.

I gritted my teeth at his voice, it put me on edge the way it pushed and cut at me while trying to get something more out of me then just my evasive answers.

"This host doesn't travel well… besides the trip may give me more time to find _your _answers" I tell in an even tone shutting the door to the car and heading around the drivers side.

It was true Hermione didn't like to fly unless she had too, I was able to gather enough information from Hermione to discover she enjoyed either Floo travel or train… the first had been out of the question since all magic ceased to be once Souls took over the ministry and declared magic to be too unpredictable in the uneducated Souls hands.

Train was out too as the ride to Scotland would be quick and offered no time for me or Hermione to sort through our thoughts.

"Medicine will control those problems… and why try to discover her secrets when it would be so much easier to allow a healer _here_ transfer you" The Seeker implored but I ignored him, clenching my jaw I looked at him with as much impassive emotions that I could gather in his presence.

"I truly am grateful for your help Seeker, but I still wish to try this my way until I'm sure that I can not break through these mental blocks my hosts previous owner installed" I was still refusing to agree that Hermione was present in my mind while The Seeker was around.

I feared just what he would do if I admitted out loud to his theory, would he just take me there and then and take me to some Healer that would follow his orders.

"I shall meet you in Scotland then" I freeze as he declares these words, my knuckles turning white around the handle to the car. Why would he meet me there? His calling had led him to be placed in London.

He must have read my expression because he smiled smugly and lent into the car.

"I was granted permission to make you my only focus… after all you are one Soul that enthrals all us Seekers. We often wonder why you did not become a Seeker yourself" The Seekers honestly sounded interested in my answer and I too became interested in what I might say.

I had been apart of a few first waves on different planets, I often requested it when it was possible and Seekers were no different from the other Souls apart from tracking down hosts who didn't already have a Soul in them.

On any other planet I would have considered my next calling being a Seeker or even a Mother but on Earth I knew as quickly as the question entered my mind that I could never raise my hand in violence to anyone.

"I do not care for violence Seeker and these humans have proved to me there are many different kinds of violence" I offer honestly and yet I feel like a coward, Hermione had given everything to protect Teddy. She had resulted to violence to protect those whom she loved and cared, during the magical war she fought for people she didn't even know.

I often attempt to reason with her that all Souls love any host they inhabit, we hold no other emotions then love.

If I love the humans wouldn't I be willing to fight for them.

"Then what do you care for Explorer" The Seeker questions and I could feel the weight behind that question, the weight made my hands sweat and my eyes dart around for an distraction. No simply answer would do; the Seeker was already convinced that Hermione was still alive in me and either way I would just be confirming what both he and I already knew.

"I care about your answers Seeker" I offer feeling the lie burn as it rolled off my tongue, my eyes felt like they were bulging out of my sockets waiting for the Seekers response.

"I'll meet you in Scotland then Explorer" The Seeker assured with a curt nod that meant I was getting away from him. With a sigh I offer a smile and slip into the car breathing in and out deeply, I didn't slam the door shut nor tears away as Hermione wanted me to do, instead I slowly rolled the car forward pressing my foot against the gas pedal feeling the engine roar to life.

I kept my eyes focused on the road, it took most of my restraint not to look in the rear view mirror waiting to see another car following close behind or worse seeing The Seeker climbing into a car and following me.

_We can lose him once we hit the motorway _

_I'm not going to lose him… I have every intention of driving to Scotland and seeing the Healer. _

I could imagine Hermione gritting her teeth and clenching her jaw. This silence lasted for several hours in fact, I couldn't make out wither she was angry at me or the way things had turned out.

Either way I was still the bad guy to her, traffic was light and steady as no Souls travelled over the speed limit.

I remained at least 10MPH under the speed limit.

Stalling for time or just simply giving Hermione to plan something; I wasn't sure because I truly didn't understand my own thoughts.

The more I tried to push her thoughts and feelings away from mine I find it lonely, even when I focused on my own memories of travelling to different planets but even that couldn't lift me away from that black hole of loneliness.

I blinked a few times as the sun glinted into the car, it was with surprise that I was now travelling along a path surrounded by trees, there was even less traffic then when I was leaving London. I glanced to the map beside me and was surprised that I had been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't even noticed the time speeding past me.

_Your going to erase me_

I smile tightly I hadn't realised how much I missed her voice and her presence, on The Water World though there was separate hosts we all shared our thoughts making it hard to lie or deceive other Souls. It didn't matter if it was day or night I was never alone.

_Hermione I don't want to… please understand that… your apart of me, but this isn't meant to be_

_For you maybe but this is my body after all… ownership isn't big with you things is it_

_Hermione please… I don't want to fight with you… I'm sorry you view this as being erased but it is more simple for you. We are trying to make this world more peaceful for you future generations_

_Your trying to wipe us out… take everything that we are and erase it. There will be no future generations for me because there is no future for me_

_This body can have children… this body will still live on for many years _

_BUT YOU WILL LIVE _

Her words were sharp and painful for me, the control of the car wavered from me for a moment but I was thankful for the lack of traffic. I truly wished that there was someway for us to coexist but I knew that it was impossible, not just for me but for the billions of humans and Souls.

_There is no middle ground Hermione… in the future the next generation will come to accept us and they will continue to spread our message of peace _

_And this generation… those children your condemning to be erased don't they deserve the chance to make their own chance at peace_

"WHAT PEACE" My voice or rather our voice seemed so harsh that I flinched back from it, glancing up the mirror to see if my face was some how twisted into a sneer.

_You only see the worst _

_Isn't that all there is… your wars have done more harm to this world then we ever could… we don't kill or harm any of the hosts to inhabit them _

I was startled at Hermione's sudden silence and I worried that I had pushed her too much. Before I could call for her she did something that made me slam the car to a stop almost slamming my head into the steering wheel.

She slammed a memory at me.

* * *

I was laughing, it felt so strange to laugh after everything… but there I was laughing. It was the first time in years I was outside with the sunlight feeling clean and hot against my skin.

Despite the unpredictable British weather it seemed me, Harry and Teddy had lucked out during our hike to find a place untouched by both Humans and those monsters.

"Mione" Teddy shrill excited voice was such a break through it took several minutes for me to understand he was waddling in knee deep water. Panic rose through me but the steady and hot hand of Harry restrained me.

"He's happy Mione" he hissed into my ear making me flush and settle back, I ignore Harry's warm chuckle as Teddy splashes himself.

"I wish this was a regular thing" I whisper back feeling like speaking any louder would ruin everything, I want to try and believe things are better now but I know it can't be while we're still hiding.

"It will be love… I promise you" I turn to look at Harry to find him staring with determination and love that I only nod.

Harry knew the dangers but he was still hoping that something would change everything.

"You would promise me anything Mr Potter" I tease before his face splits into a large smile and he captures my lips. The fire floods through me again and I can't help but think was there any time when Harry didn't touch me that I didn't burn.

"That's gross" Teddy exclaimed collapsing beside me, his head finding it's way to my lap. I can't help the smirk when Harry pouts eyeing Teddy's position with envy. We hadn't done anything more then kiss and cuddle since that night three weeks ago, and for that I think we both were cursing the monsters.

We both had needs but we agreed that bringing a child into this world wouldn't be among ours or our children's best interest.

Birth control didn't seem to be a needed thing among the Souls and the ones we did find were out of date.

"It's what people in love do" Harry offered settling with just wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder.

"I love Mione and you but I don't _kiss _you like that" Teddy exclaimed his face contorting into an amusing mixture of emotions. I could only laugh, Teddy had to grow up over the past six years but even he slipped back into his seven years of age.

"It's a different love Teddy… I love you in a very different way I love Harry just like you love me and Harry in a very different way" I try to explain but Teddy seemed to be confused only making Harry laugh.

With a wink Harry ran his fingers under my shirt making me burn ten degrees more.

"When your older… much more older Teddy I'll explain why me and Mione love each other differently" Harry assured causing me to purse my lips from smirking, we had agreed that in a few years time Harry would have to explain to Teddy what he was going through when his body changed.

Teddy pouted and folded his arms, which from my angle of view was adorable but I could understand he was trying to pout to prove his was old enough to understand.

"I saw fish in the stream Teddy… want to fish" Harry asked as Teddy beamed and jumped to his feet jarring my hands.

"Can we Mione… can we fish" Teddy was bouncing on the heels of his feet and I couldn't stop myself from nodding.

Just like Harry I couldn't bring that no to my lips. Teddy charged down to the stream while Harry laughed and quickly pressed a kiss to my lips. Maybe it was the war against Voldermort or maybe it was the thought of loosing human contact but Harry hadn't shied away from showing his love now he knew I wouldn't hit him.

"I can't promise you everything will be ok Mione… but I promised you I will protect you" Harry whispered before squeezing me close then jumping to his feet he hurried after Teddy.

* * *

I managed to find the hard shoulder just as the memory began to fade away to an afternoon spent enjoying their freedom. Brushing my trembling fingers against my face I was surprised to find my cheek wet with tears I didn't know I was shedding.

_THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE ERASING_

I swallow and shake my head trying to dislodge Hermione, I push my foot hard against the gas pedal and felt like I was shooting along the motorway. I almost laughed that laugh I had laughed at the College with the Seeker, I was trying to escape the memory thinking it was somehow locked into the place behind me on the road.

_Teddy will be happy_

Why did it feel like I was lying to my self… Teddy's bright eyes shimmering with happiness and excitement as he and Harry attempted to catch fish clouded my mind.

Could I do that to him, could I allow Teddy to be erased and taking over by a Soul who would never take an interest in things that Teddy did.

The Soul who would take over Teddy wouldn't yearn to fly a broomstick or run along a beach and that twisted my heart.

_Keep telling yourself that_

_I am… but_

WHAT… but what, there was no other way around this, I couldn't keep Teddy safe without him becoming a host then I wouldn't be keeping Teddy safe I would be erasing him.

_You can't have it both ways… you can't keep Teddy safe and put a monster in him _

_I… I… please_

It shouldn't be this hard, I shouldn't be feeling this twisting guilt nor this unnatural need to protect this human.

I should just have gone through Hermione's memories found where Harry and Teddy where and then be happy that Souls would care for their bodies.

_But it wouldn't be Harry and Teddy… it wouldn't be them _

My foot brushed the break pedal making the car jerk around me.

Could I live in this body even without Hermione in my head knowing that Harry and Teddy wouldn't look at me the same way. Could I live with this desire knowing the soul that would take over Harry's body wouldn't feel anything for me.

_Harry wouldn't let himself be erased _

I couldn't trust Hermione's angry tone… it was a pure chance that she remained but could the same be said for Harry… for Teddy.

I was overwhelmed by Hermione's emotions, I couldn't deny that, but would the souls taking over Harry and Teddy be as overwhelmed. Would they even be souls or would the seekers just rule that both humans would harm Souls rather then aide them and their lives disposed of.

Both me and Hermione shuddered at the thought.

_These are your emotions Hermione not mine_

_No they are yours too… I know what you felt when you think of Teddy being taken and erased. I know what the thought of Harry's touches did to you. _

I felt the pang of anger in her words but she was pushing past her hate and jealously of me to prove that I did feel the same as her when I thought of Harry and Teddy.

I know my arms longed to hold Teddy's small form against me to protect him with whatever means I had at hand. I know that I yearned to be held and kissed by Harry.

_But there is nothing I can do… I don't even know how to find them and even if I could they wouldn't trust me_

_You have to try… being human means trying even if the outcome seems pointless. We have to try_

_For what… Hermione the Seeker is waiting for us… for me… he will search for me and will take me out and put himself in. _

_Then you lose nothing by trying and I will die happily knowing I at least tried to keep my promise to Harry and Teddy. I tried for them. _

I twitched my eyes to my reflection… to our reflection I guess now. My eyes seemed haunted by another presence, my cheeks flushed and red with streaks of tears.

What was wrong with me… why was I even considering allow her to follow her plan, it wasn't like I could change anything.

If I followed her plan and somehow found Harry and Teddy they wouldn't believe me Hermione was still alive and then we surly both would die. If I went to the Healers then only Hermione would be erased and I know with a twist of my heart I would be alone.

_Take that road…. Up ahead on the left_

_Why_

_Just trust me_

I wanted to snort eyeing the slip road to the left, it strayed off through the woods leading to a small town. If I carried on I would make Scotland in a few hours and finally among my own kind.

_Why _

_Because if you go to the Seeker you will be transferred and you will regret it_

Chewing my lip in a way I knew was habit Hermione had picked up, my foot pressed down on the gas pedal and I felt her tense up waiting for my reaction.

As the slip road loomed up on me I couldn't make my mind up. Hermione was a human, a human willing to let me die once she got what she wanted while the Seeker was a soul who wanted to protect me.

Jolting the car I heard Hermione sigh as we travelled along the slip road, my eyes darting around the darkening trees. The shadows engulfing the small car as I twisted it along the narrowing path.

_All we can do is try… both me and you have to try for their sakes. _

I wished I could use some of Hermione's hope for myself, because right now I was pretty sure I was depressed.

The moment I turned the car in the direction she pointed out the only hope I had was that this would lead to nothing I would be alone once more.

Even then my hope wavered.

I should have trusted the healers and their ways to make me whole again without Hermione.

Now I was trusting a human who refused to fade away all because I allowed my body to over rule me.

I trusted Hermione because I was finally accepting that the love for Harry and Teddy wasn't just hers anymore.

I truly loved Harry and Teddy now, just like I loved Hermione.

Did I love them all enough to die for them?

We were about to find out.


End file.
